Review of 2012

This year we have gone through more change than ever before! We went from childless to child, student to Dr.,
teacher to mommy,
NYC resident to St. Louis resident,
car less to car owner,
renter to homeowner.
I'm sure there's more that I can't think of now. The biggest thing I've learned and kind of the theme of the year has been to "trust in The Lord. He has it all under control."

After 6ish years of teaching, traveling the world and finishing up medical school we knew it was time to start our family. Trips, our careers and living the kid free life started to feel hollow and we knew something was missing. We got pregnant right away and couldn't believe it. We were shocked. So shocked we didn't tell anyone. Thoughts about how horrible the timing was and how having a child wasn't convenient clouded my mind. It sounds horrible but it's kinda true. At eight weeks I knew something wasn't right and at my Dr appointment I watched as Robert's faced dropped during the ultrasound. We had lost the baby. The sting of this memory is still fresh. I remember blaming myself, thoughts of worry that I would never have children. This experience made me realize that I wanted a child more than I have ever wanted anything before. I prayed, cried and prayed some more.
Robert and I continued on with life and our plans of an adventurous 4th year of medical school. Several road trips around the East coast, trips to Utah, a month in Seattle for an internship, a road trip down the Oregon coast, and a month internship in Thailand. Around the second week in Thailand I started feeling really sick. I blamed it on the smells and food of Asia. I wanted to believe it was pregnancy but I didn't want to have my heart broken again so I pushed the thoughts away.
Thailand was incredible and beautiful and amazing! But I mostly spent time puking in the bathroom. As soon as we got back to NYC we scheduled another ultrasound. The night before I started spotting. I prayed like never before. I'll never forget the comfort I felt that night. At the ultrasound we cried but this time with tears of happiness. I heard the heart beat of our baby.
Looking back The Lord knew I needed a change of heart. He knew I needed to feel the sorrow of the miscarriage to feel the happiness of being a mom. In no way do I think this is the reason for all miscarriages but it was for me.
My belly started to grow, Robert traveled around for residency interviews, we went on as many dates around NYC that we could fit in. We didn't want to regret one single thing about our kid free life. We even snuck in a secret babymoon cruise to the Bahamas (not a secret anymore ;). I saw over 30 broadway shows and couldn't begin to count how many trips to the NYC ballet. Robert's flexible schedule allowed him to train for the St George Ironman and teach early morning seminary everyday. I worked part time and prepared for our baby girl. Robert was blessed with being ranked top of his medical class, he was offered lots of residency interviews and told by several programs that he was their top pick. We were feeling so blessed!!! We knew we might get to handpick where we would want to go. All along we had our eye on staying in NYC or California. After Robert interviewed at programs he thought he would love he felt discouraged. We thought we knew what we wanted but it just didn't feel right. Long story short, stars aligned for us to match at one of the top programs, Washington University in St. Louis, MO. We hadn't highly considered it, not because of the quality of the program but because I didn't feel a huge connection to St. Louis ;) but once again The Lord knew best. Lots of stress came along with planning our new stage of life. Annie was due the day residency was suppose to start. Everyone was extremely helpful and flexible. We flew to St. Louis to find a house. I found my dream house. It was cute, quirky, old historic but The Lord knew best. After inspections, negotiations everything crumbled. I was devastated. I wanted to have a nice place to raise my family. A place I loved to be. The day everything fell through I found out a house that we liked but was way out of our price range dropped their price to our range. We put an offer and everything went smoothly.

On May 30 we walked to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital half a mile away and my Dr started my induction. We made the hard decision of inducing labor because of our tight schedule. I didn't have high expectations for labor after everyone's horror stories. With the help of Robert and my good friend Abby I had 18 hrs of natural labor. I wasn't 110% set on going natural so when my OB said that if I didn't progress I might need surgery or try an epidural and hope it helps labor. I chose epidural! The epidural was frustrating. It didn't work the first time and the second time it only worked from the knees and below on one side. Lets just say words were said and Robert got some hits and pinches from me. For some reason hurting him made my pain better?!? I started pushing and Annie was out 45 min later. It was a surreal feeling. I knew I was suppose to feel something big and that I was going to love her more than anything but it didn't set it right away. She cried right away ( after they removed the umbilical cord from her neck;() once they put her on my bare chest she calmed right down. That's the first time I realized how powerful motherhood was. She weighed 6lbs even. The hospital experienced was lovely. Lots if our NYC friends visited and the staff was amazing. We got rock star treatment because Robert worked there. We decided well before to name her Anniston (Annie) rose, after our door lady rosa who was like a grandma to us. She is the most adorable, stubborn chilian grandma. We hope it would reminds us of our experience in NYC. We walked home half a mile to our apartment stopping several times so I wouldn't pass out and to introduce her to fellow classmates and apartment staff. The next 16 days were filled with delicious meals from friends, late nights soaking in time with friends, undivided attention from Robert and packing. We took Annie on a few outings to Central Park, Time Square and Dr appointments on the subway. We saw the city with new eyes after Annie was born. It was a perfect time for us to leave. We loaded up our uhaul and made the 16 hr drive to St. Louis. It was a loud, shaky decil truck. I held Annie's head all 16 hr because I was worried about head trama ;) . We arrived in St. Louis, Robert left the next morning to close on the house, unpack, return the truck and buy a car! It was unreal! He grew up a lot that day :)
We moved into our little house. My mom and sister arrived a day later with a uhaul of furniture. They then transformed our house into an adorable, trendy decorated, cozy home. We honestly couldn't have done it without those two. Denice followed soon after with delicious meals and a clean house. Annie was a month old when we finally had our first day on our own! We are so blessed to have so much help.
Annie is wonderful. She is a happy baby. She loves to smile, play and people watch. She loves to be held and is very cuddly. She is growing so fast. Most days I wake up thinking how lucky I am to be her mom.
Every day since then I have been having ah ha moments of "now I get why we ended up here!" My childhood best friend ended up being in our new ward and our friendship is priceless. The group of residents is already like family. I hang out with Sheridan (another residents wife) several times a week, if not every day. Robert loves his program and what he does. All his attendings are into teaching and go out of their way to give him the best education. Our ward is 70% Drs or medically involved. It's great to be around people in similar situations. Washington University has a woman's organization for wives of the residents that organizes play dates, girls night, book clubs etc. I have meet some incredible people through this. I am going to serve on their board next year. Its been fun discovering the midwest with trips to Chicago and Nashville. St Louis has completely surprised me! We love it here. It's a perfect fit for us. Once again The Lord knew best.
Just for the record. Life hasn't been all peachy. Somedays of motherhood are really hard. Sleepless nights are long. Money is tight. Robert's hours can be long. We are far from family. But it's undeniable that The Lord has blessed us and put us where we need to be! Cheers to 2013!